The Past Is Coming
by Fufonet
Summary: Kevin Ryan's past is coming back to haunt him and his friends are there to help.
1. Chapter 1

This is my second attempt at writing a fanfic. The idea was stuck in my head for a while, but I had troubles putting it into words…

There isn't really anything you need to know, other than there are some spoilers for 5x18.

I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, English isn't my native language.

I hope you'll like the story and would love to hear what you think….

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><p>When he saw Bobby S's picture on their white board, under the headline of suspects, he felt like someone punched him in the gut. He felt like he couldn't breathe, bracing himself for the next blow. He grabbed the back of the chair that was closest to him and whispered "Bobby?"<p>

Castle and Esposito who were standing on the side of the white board, turned to look at him with confused looks.

"You said something Ryan?" Esposito asked, both of the men coming to stand closer to him.

Ryan looked at him with a puzzled look, he seemed to only now realize they were there with him.

"Are we thinking he did it?" he asked innocently, tearing his eyes from Bobby S's picture to look at Esposito.

"Yes" was the answer he received. But it was Esposito's soft voice that let him know he's on to him. Esposito had a tendency of knowing all his tells. He knew when Ryan was upset and tried to cover it. He knew when Ryan needed a break from paperwork and took him to get coffee from the vendor outside the precinct instead of the break room. He knew when Ryan was on the verge of a breakthrough, when he was right about to figure out the bigger picture. He knew when Ryan needed a laugh to get his mind of things or when he needed space instead. He knew when Ryan's sisters called, by the tone of his voice when he answered the phone. He knew when Ryan didn't sleep well, just by the way that his tie was a bit crocked, but not too much so somebody else might notice. Ryan wondered if Esposito was aware that he knew all those things about Espo too.

Suddenly he felt himself being grabbed by the elbow and pulled into the break room.

"What's up bro?" Esposito's voice managed to break through his haze.

"I… I don't know what you're talking about" he said, knowing full well that he's not convincing Esposito at all.

"Bro" Esposito said, again with that soft voice, that made Ryan look at him, really look at him and wonder if that tone was for his ears only. Ryan sat on the edge of the couch behind him, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Esposito reached for a chair and sat across from him. "You know him, don't you?".

Ryan's only response was a slight nod.

Esposito put his hand on Ryan's shoulder "You know you can tell me anything Kev, right?"

Esposito's voice was so tender, that Ryan couldn't help himself and looked up, he looked at Espo, with watering eyes "I… I've been hiding for so long, I don't even know how to not do this anymore".

"Kevin, what are you talking about?" Esposito pulled his hand from Ryan's shoulder and rested it on his partner's knee.

Ryan looked at him for a while and then stood up abruptly "I can't… I… I got to go" and he left the room, heading straight for the elevator, before Esposito could have done anything.

When he came out of the room, both Becket and Castle stood up from their chairs "What's going on Espo?" it was Becket.

He looked at her and shook his head "I have no idea".

* * *

><p>Ryan didn't come back for the rest of the afternoon. By 8 pm that night Esposito had enough. He got out of his apartment and made his way towards Ryan's place. He knocked on the door and waited patiently for his partner to open it. Ryan opened the door, wearing sweatpants and a plain white T-shirt and holding beer in his hand. He moved to the side, without a word, letting Esposito in. Espo made his way to the couch and sat down. On the coffee table in front of him were two empty bottles of beer and a pizza. He grabbed a slice and accepted the cold beer Ryan handed him.<p>

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both staring at the football game that was on, until Javi lost his patience.

"You want to tell me what happened today?" he turned to look at his partner.

Kevin didn't answer, just bowed his head down "I don't even know where to start" he said quietly.

"From the beginning" Javi answered simply. He didn't look or turned away, but kept a firm gaze on Kevin.

After a minute of silence Kevin turned to look at him "maybe we should get Castle and Becket, I don't think I can go through this twice" his voice was soft, a bit apprehensive and Javier thought that maybe all the scenarios he ran through in his head weren't even close to the real story… "Can you wait?" Kevin's look was like a scared innocence little boy, Javier has never seen before and he couldn't find the strength to tell him no. they resumed watching the game and Javier found himself collapsing for the night on Kevin's couch.

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><p>The next morning the four of them were sitting around a table in one of the conferences rooms, each holding a cup of coffee in their hand. Becket and Esposito were sitting next to each other, while Castle sat across from Becket and Ryan sat at the head of the table, closest to Esposito.<p>

"So, what do you need to talk to us about Ryan?" Becket cut to the chase.

Ryan took a deep breath "I know Bobby S" he looked at all of them.

"Know him?" It was Castle "Know him as in 'I arrested him once' or know him as 'he's my friend'?" they all looked at him expectantly.

"He _used_ to be a friend" it was said with bitterness and Esposito felt his heart ache. What was his partner talking about, how could he be a friend of such a horrible person and what did he mean by "used to", what happened between the two of them? There were so many thoughts running through his head that he had to make himself listen to Ryan.

"How did you even become a friend of a person like that?" it was Becket this time and Esposito thought for a moment that maybe he voiced his thoughts out loud and didn't notice, but Ryan was focused on his coffee and not looking hurt or criticizing at him, so he figured Becket just knew his partner well enough for this to be her first question.

Ryan sighed and looked up at them "It's a long story and… I have no idea how to even begin to tell you".

Javier put his hand on Ryan's left one that rested on the table "Start from the beginning Kev" he said softly, recognizing his friend's nervousness.

Ryan had to take a deep breath. Espo's touch made him feel stronger, safer. The warmness in his eyes told him everything he needed to hear at that moment, that he wasn't alone in this, that he can trust him, that he will always be there no matter what he might say. Ryan wandered if Espo always looked at him like that or was it only this time. He shook his head, turned his hand in Esposito's and squeezed it, before leaning back in his chair and pulling his hand back to rest both his hands on his thighs.

"My real name isn't actually Kevin Ryan"


	2. Chapter 2

It took me a while to finish the second chapter since I started a new job and things are a bit crazy… But I already have an idea of where I want to take this story, so hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner…

I don't know how many sisters Ryan has and what their names are, so I just wrote what fitted my story...

There isn't really anything you need to know, other than there are some spoilers for 5x18 "the wild rover".

I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, English isn't my native language.

I want to thank those who reviewd this story, I was really happy to read it!

Of course I don't own any of the characters of Castle.

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><p>"<em>My real name isn't actually Kevin Ryan"<em>

There is a complete silence in the room. The only noise is the breathing of the four people sitting around the table.

"Come again" says Castle, look of pure confusion, amusement and excitement rolled in to one, on his face.

"My real name isn't Kevin Ryan" he repeats quietly. He was overwhelmed by the statement himself. It was the first time in about fifteen years that he admitted such a truth to anyone other than his three older sisters.

"I don't understand" Becket voice was soft, softer than he was used to.

"My given name is Fenton Kevin O'Connell" he paused to take a deep breath. "My father's name was Cormac O'Connell and I'm originally from Staten Island" he finished and gave them time to comprehend what he was saying.

"You're saying" Back to Castle "That you are the son of one of the biggest Irish mobsters in New York City in the last few decades?" Castle's voice was soft, but full of amazement. "How did you become a cop then? Why did you change your name? Aren't you from Boston?" he kept going, but all Ryan could look at was Esposito's face.

"Espo" he needed to hear his voice. He needed to know what he was thinking. Esposito barely talked since they came in to the room and it was driving him crazy. He hid he's true identity for so long he didn't even feel like Fenton O'Connell anymore. He was Kevin Ryan and right now what Kevin Ryan needed most was hearing what his partner and best friend was thinking.

"I don't… Why didn't you say something before?"

Ryan looked at him apologetically "I'm so used to not talk about it, to be Kevin Ryan that I just didn't know how".

Esposito nodded in understanding. It was weird enough thinking about his partner as anything else than the innocence, level headed, awkward guy that he was. But to think of him as the son of a mobster was simply impossible.

Becket tried to stir the conversation back to business "Ryan, is this related to our case? Are you in any kind of danger?"

Ryan shrugged his shoulders "No… I don't know, maybe".

"Just tell us bro, it's OK" Esposito's soft voice again.

Ryan couldn't refuse it "My mom died when I was 9" he began quietly, leaning back in his chair, playing with his fingers, which rested on his thighs. "My father didn't really know how to deal with a 9 year old boy. My oldest sister Norah was already in college in Boston and my other sisters were older and barely home and my father… he did the only thing he knew and started to take me with him as much as possible". He stopped for a moment, taking a sip from his coffee and looked up at his friends, checking their reactions. It was Castle who broke the silence.

"He took you with him to do mob stuff?"

Ryan chuckled at the phrase 'mob stuff' "Yes, he did, I was next in line. As his only son, I was supposed to take the lead when he would have retired"

"Wow" was Castle reaction "I can't imagine you as the head of the Irish mob" he chuckled to himself.

Ryan smiled "Believe me, I didn't see myself doing that either".

Becket and Esposito joined the small laughs. It made Ryan feel good, like things aren't going to change much, like his friends still saw him as who he actually was and not who his name was supposed to make him.

"Anyway, as the years went by I started to play a more active role, did some things I'm not proud of and was lucky to not get caught. He started to trust me more with things, gave me more responsibilities. By the time I was fifteen I already accepted my fate, didn't object as much as I did in the beginning. It was only my sister Kyla and me at home with my father. Cara was at NYU and Norah stayed in Boston after she graduated".

He took a deep breath and leaned forward, putting both of his elbows on the table and caressing his face with both his palms. After a minute or so, he put his hands down on the table.

"That year things started to fall apart. My father was getting old, but I was too young to take over. I mean, who would take a fifteen year old seriously?" he shook his head and sighed. "Bobby's father, Lee, started to make moves in an attempt to take over. He was known as ruthless, I've seen him in action a couple of times and trust me when I say, you do not want to find yourself being his enemy" he shut his eyes, trying to block memories he hasn't thought of for years.

"It's OK Kev" Espo's voice brought him back to the reality from the dark alleys of Staten Island "Take your time" he smiled at him a small encouraging smile and Ryan couldn't help but smile back.

"One day, after school, Kyla was attacked. Nothing too serious, but it was definitely a message directed to my father. Some of his people said they recognized her attackers as being Lee Shannon's men. My father went crazy. I tried to talk to him, Kyla tried to talk to him, but it was like he didn't even hear us, couldn't hear us. He went to see Lee. I ran after him, but I was too late, I didn't get there in time. Even if I did, what could I have done against 6 grown men…"

He paused, trying to get his breathing under control, he felt his eyes watering, his hands started to tremble and he squeezed his thighs hard. His heart was pounding and he was sure he's gonna have a heart attack soon. He thought he heard someone talk, but he couldn't figure out what they were saying. He felt a hand on his shoulder, but couldn't tell who it belongs too.

"Kevin, Kev do you hear me?" Espo? He was pretty sure it was his voice, it sounded urgent and worried, but Espo always kept his cool. The hand on his shoulder moved and he felt two hands on both his cheeks holding his head in place "Kevin, it's OK, you're safe now". Kevin looked him in the eyes, trying to make sense, trying to hold on to the words, to the voice of his partner, to his strong hands that tried to ground him and bring him back. He took deep breaths and kept his gaze focused on his partner.

"That's it bro, just breath, I'm right here with you, you're OK, you're safe, I'm right here Kev". He could feel himself calming down, felt his heart rate slowing, hands stopped trembling, but he refused to break eye contact and Esposito seemed to understand and kept his hold on his face. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Castle and Becket giving them their space and time, trying to not look, to give them some privacy.

When Ryan nodded his head and whispered "I'm OK", Esposito nodded back, pulled away his hands and got up on his feet, reaching to bring his chair closer to Ryan.

"When…" he started but his voice felt hoarse and he cleared it before he continued "When I got there, things got heated and Lee pulled out a gun and before my father could do anything he just… he just shot him, in the chest, three times…" Ryan drifted off.

Castle couldn't believe what he was hearing. He couldn't imagine a fifteen year old witnessing his father's murder. It wasn't enough that Ryan probably saw so much death in his life because of his father's work, but to witness his murder? He felt like getting up and hug the younger man, telling him that that's not the childhood he deserved, promise to him he would do anything to help him through this. But he knew that it wasn't him that Ryan needed right now. Yes, they were friends, good friends, but Ryan needed Esposito more than anything right now and he was sure that Esposito will do anything in his power to help his younger partner. Ryan voice brought him back to the conversation at hand.

"When I saw him fall down, I ran. I ran back home and called Norah. She somehow always knew what to do, what to say. She told me to get the hell out of the city, to come to Boston. She told me to just get my sisters and leave"

"You were next" Becket voiced the conclusion they were all reaching.

"Yes" was Ryan simple answer "Everyone knew that my father prepared me to take over, so if Lee wanted to take over, with as little resistant as possible from my father's men, he needed to take me out of the picture"

Castle voice carried through the room softly "Oh my god".

"I went straight home to get Kyla, we called Cara and we hop on the first bus to Boston".

He leaned back in his chair, breathing deeply. Trying to push back the memories from that day, to not let it consume him again.

"What about your name?" Esposito asked.

"Norah was worried sick that someone will find us, so we all changed our family name to my mother's maiden name, Ryan. We also started using our middle names as our first names. Hence, Kevin Ryan" Ryan looked directly at Esposito when he answered.

"Ryan" Becket tried to get his attention "If they'll know you're here, are they going to come after you?"

Ryan took a minute to think about it before answering and looked her straight in the eyes "Probably".

There was a collective sigh coming from the three other people in the room, all of them knowing that this case just turned much more dangers.

"Ryan you know you can't be on that case" Becket said softly but firmly. Making sure her younger partner understood she was serious about keeping him safe.

"Becket" he started, but was cut off by her.

"You said it yourself Ryan, if they find out about you, they might come after you and none of us want that. It's not worth it".

"Then don't write my name anywhere, I'll work from here and won't sign anything related to the case. I'll look through files, I'll take care of the whiteboard and I'll be in touch with Lanie. Anything Becket, please, I need to be a part of this" he was begging, he knew it, but he couldn't help it, He was tired of hiding.

Becket took a deep breath, shaking her head "I don't like it at all".

"I know" Ryan nodded his head "but I also know you can relate" he said softly.

She looked at him for a minute, Castle and Esposito keeping quiet. Her answer was so quiet he wasn't sure she actually said anything, but Castle's soft smile told him he wasn't imagining "OK".

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><p>A couple of hours later, Esposito looked up from his computer to see Ryan walking to the break room to get himself coffee. He got up and walked after him, closing the door behind him. Ryan looked up surprised.<p>

"What's up bro?" he asked his older partner.

"I don't know if it's such a good idea for you to be on that case" Esposito said, standing next to the coffee machine where Ryan was making his coffee.

Ryan stopped what he was doing and turned to face Esposito "Espo, don't do this".

"I'm just worried bro, if they find out about you…" he drifted off, not being able to put a thought like that in to words.

"Look, I've been living in the city for about 8 years now and I never saw any one of them, OK? It's not like I'm going to walk around Staten Island, I'm here in the precinct".

"I know, I just… I don't want anything to happen to you" Esposito's voice became softer and he found himself moving closer to Ryan. He put his hand on his younger partner's shoulder.

Ryan sighed "I know. But I'm done hiding Javi. I can't let them dictate my life anymore. I've worked really hard for everything I had ever accomplished and I'm not willing to let them take it away from me" Ryan matched his tone to Esposito's.

Esposito shook his head and took a deep breath "Maybe you should stay with me for a while" he looked expectantly at Ryan.

Ryan studied his partner for a second. Not surprised about the offer, it was Esposito after all and he wouldn't be him if he didn't do anything in his power to keep Ryan safe. But he was surprised about how that simple offer made him feel. He was nervous and excited at the same time, happy and wanting to accept, but afraid of what might happen. But above all, Espo was his best friend, he was worried and for a good reason and Ryan thought it would be best for everyone's peace of mind if he'll stay with Esposito for the duration of the case. "OK" was his answer and he couldn't keep the smile from his face.

Esposito seemed to release a breath he didn't know he was holding and smiled back "Good. OK". He kept standing there for another minute, still looking at Ryan looking at him, before he managed to move again and went back to his desk.


	3. Chapter 3

There isn't really anything you need to know, other than there are some spoilers for 5x18 "The Wild Rover".

I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, English isn't my native language.

I would love to hear what you think :)

Of course I don't own any of the characters of Castle.

* * *

><p>They entered Esposito's apartment at around 8 pm that night, after stopping at Ryan's apartment to pick up some stuff for him.<p>

They sat together on the couch, cartons of take out on the coffee table and each holding a bottle of beer. Esposito looked for something to watch and stopped on a basketball game.

For the first ten minutes of the game, the only noise in the apartment was the broadcasters and the occasional noises from the street below.

"So…" Javier started "You and Bobby S…"

"Yeah" Kevin said slowly.

"You were good friends?" Javier looked at his partner, trying to figure out how he fitted in that kind of life, in that sort of environment.

"We grew up in the same neighborhood, he's a couple of years older than me, but we all knew each other" Kevin answered simply, taking another sip from his beer. The food was long forgotten in front of them.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" Javier tried to put his thoughts in to words

"What?" Kevin asked, turning to face Javier.

"It's just so not you, you know? I mean, I'm having a hard time trying to picture you as a mobster" Javier chuckled softly.

Kevin smiled at him "Well, I'm glad" he said softly. Javier looked at him confused, turning fully to face his partner too "I worked really hard to leave that kind of life and what it required from me behind me".

"It's working bro, trust me" Javier put his hand on Kevin's shoulder.

Kevin turned to look at the hand on his shoulder and felt the warmth sipping through his shirt. He looked up at Javier, who seemed not to notice where his hand was still resting.

Kevin's "Thank you" was quiet and hoarse. He cleared his throats "More beer?" he asked and when Javier nodded his head, he got up slowly and went in to the kitchen.

Javier grabbed his head with his hands and took a deep breath. What was he thinking? Ryan was his partner, his best friend and with this case hanging over his head, now was not the time to make a move. And even if it was the right time, he had no idea how Kevin felt. He knew Kevin dated a couple of guys in between the serious girlfriends he had, but those guys never seemed to last very long.

Kevin returned from the kitchen and handed him his second beer that night.

"You think maybe you should call your sisters?" Javier asked. Maybe talking again will help him control his thoughts and feelings better.

"I already talked to Norah. She said she'll talk to Cara and Kyla" Kevin answered, not looking at Javier.

"Good thing none of them is in the city" Javier said softly, turning his attention from Kevin to the TV.

"Yeah" was the distant answer he got.

Javier let a few more minutes to pass before offering fixing the guest bedroom for Kevin for the night. Kevin accepted the offer and they both moved to the guest bedroom. After organizing his bed and finishing getting ready for bed, Kevin found himself drifting off to sleep.

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><p>It took Javier a little longer to find sleep. He couldn't shake the look Kevin gave him when they were sitting on the couch earlier and he put his arm on his shoulder. It seemed like Kevin liked it, like he expected more to happen. He thought about how easily they became Kevin and Javier once they were alone and off the clock. He thought about the case and about what Kevin told them. He understood why he never said anything about it before, not just because of his life being in danger, but because being the son of one of the biggest mobster the city have seen in a long time is not an easy heritage to carry. Kevin didn't say anything, but Javier assumed that his father wasn't the first mobster in the family. When Javier finally found sleep, it was well past 3 am.<p>

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><p>The next morning, Javier found Kevin sitting on the chair next to the counter, a cup of coffee in his hand. He looked still half a sleep. He knew Kevin needed time in the morning to fully wake up, although he never slept in, even on their days off. He went to grab himself a cup of coffee too and leaned back against the refrigerator across from the counter.<p>

"Good morning" he said softly, so he wouldn't startle Kevin. Kevin lifted his head and looked at Javier, as if he just realized he was there.

"Morning" was his mumbled answer.

They got ready for work and made their way to the precinct together. They went straight to work. Esposito looking through some video footage, trying to establish a time line, while Kevin looked through bank accounts and credit cards to try and look for anything suspicious in their victim's life.

At around noon, Becket found something after talking to the victim's boss. She grabbed Castle and they went to bring in their first suspect, a guy who was seen talking to their victim on Friday afternoon, right outside the office building.

Ryan used it to take a break and went to get coffee. Esposito saw him through the window and decided to go talk to him. He needed to start make sense of everything that was happening lately between them. He needed to know if it was all in his head or if Ryan was feeling it too. He found Ryan sitting at the table in the break room, with a coffee cup resting in front of him.

"Hey" Esposito said and sat down across from Ryan.

"Hey" Ryan answered with a small smile on his face.

"How are you doing?" Esposito asked, looking concerned.

Kevin only shrugged his shoulders.

"Kev, you know you can talk to me, right?" Esposito's soft voice and the use of the nickname he rarely used while they were in the precinct made Kevin look at his partner with an intensity and appreciation, Javier was having a hard time not breaking the gaze. And Kevin couldn't do anything but give his partner an honest answer.

"I'm just a bit on edge… things might come up Javi that you might not like to hear" Ryan rested his hand on Esposito's palm. The combination of the warmth from Ryan's hand and the use of his nickname, made Esposito's chest filled with love. He couldn't deny that anymore. That feeling that was building inside of him for the last few months now, could not be anything else but love.

"Whatever it is, I can handle it" Esposito found himself putting his free hand on the one Ryan had resting on his.

"I witnessed some things Javier I wish I didn't… I did some things that I'm not proud of, but… it's part of who I am".

Javier got up and moved to sit next to Kevin, turning his chair so they were facing each other.

"Kevin" he started, taking both Kevin's hands in his, both of them resting their elbows on their knees, heads low and close to the other, so no one else can hear them. And Javier realized they somehow switched to first names again, it seemed to be happening a lot lately. "I'm here and I'm with you till the wheels fall off. What happened in the past…" Javier took a deep breath, averting his eyes before looking back at Kevin "you were a kid, this is how you were brought up, this is what was expected from you since the day you were born. You didn't ask for it Kev and I think you did your best" he moved a bit closer to Kevin, shifting so he was sitting on the edge of the chair. "I only know what you told me, but I know you Kevin, I know you and you are a good person. Whatever the bad things you did, you more than made amends for it. I mean you're a cop for Christ sake"

Kevin took a deep breath and nodded, lowering his head. Javier reached with his right hand to touch Kevin's cheek and lifted his head. Kevin looked at him and this time Javier had no doubt what he saw in Kevin's eyes. There was no mistaken the appreciation and caring that shone in his eyes. Before Javier could think about what he was doing he felt himself leaning closer and closer towards Kevin and when he saw Kevin close his eyes in anticipation, he knew he was right.

The kiss was slow and tender. Kevin squeezed the hand he was still holding and Javier moved his hand from Kevin's cheek to the back of his neck. Kevin felt Javier's tongue on his lips and he was more than happy to oblige. He parted his lips and let Javi take control. They kept a slow rhythm, but the passion was starting to build, when Kevin tried to move closer to Javier, they lost themselves, forgetting were they were and who was around them.

A clearing of a throat made them break the kiss abruptly and jump apart. Ryan was afraid to look back, he put his head in his hands that were resting on his knees and shook his head. Esposito put his right hand that just seconds ago was on Kevin's cheek and neck, on Kevin's shoulder and looked up.

"Hey Becket" he said as calmly as he could manage.

Becket was silent for a minute looking between Ryan's back to Esposito's eyes.

"We ah… Brought in our suspect… um…" she looked at the file in her hand "Liam Finch" She said, the look in her eyes showing Esposito she was still trying to figure out what exactly did she walk in the middle of. But what really got his attention was the speed Ryan got up and turned to look at Becket, knocking Esposito's hand from his shoulder in the process. Esposito stood next to him as fast as he could and the look in Ryan's eyes made his chest clenched.

"You know him don't you?" Esposito asked.

Ryan nodded "he's Bobby's right hand…" he seemed to hesitate for a second before continuing "he um… he used to date Kyla, my sister".

Esposito put his hand on Ryan's lower back and felt Ryan relax a bit. Becket looked between them and sighed.

"Stay here Ryan, I don't want him to see you" she averted her look from Ryan to Esposito "Espo, are you coming?"

Esposito looked at Ryan and at the small nod he got from his partner, he followed Becket outside the room and in to interrogation.

It was about 30 minutes later and Ryan was getting restless. He got up to make himself a cup of coffee, when Castle came into the room.

"They're almost done in there" he said softly, moving to stand in the middle of the room and watching Ryan making coffee "He didn't say much… tough guy".

Ryan snorted "Yeah, at least that what he thinks".

"What do you mean?" Castle stood up straighter, waiting to hear something that might help them in the case and at the same time shed more light on Ryan's past.

Ryan turned around to look at Castle, his profile visible from outside the break room. Before he could say anything a shout came through the bullpen "Holly shit, Fenton?" Ryan couldn't help it, he turned to face the voice he knew so well, Liam.

Ryan's eyes got wide and two officers grabbed Liam fast, when he started to make his move towards Ryan "Leave me alone" he shouted "You son of a bitch, you came back, you've got some nerve coming back to the city, wait till I'll tell Bobby who I saw today" there was no mistaken in the amusement and pure evil that purred from his mouth while saying those words.

Ryan stepped out of the break room and stood by the door. Castle tried to call him "Ryan", but he didn't let it stop him.

"Hey Liam" his voice was calm. Becket and Esposito stood frozen between the two acquaintances.

"How dare you come back? What Bobby's father did to yours wasn't enough to scare you off? You want the same to happen to you?" Liam didn't flinch, his voice held anger and vengeance.

Ryan stood his ground "You grew a pair finally? You could always talk Liam, but could never walk the walk".

Esposito moved in front of Liam and signaled the officers to take him away "that's enough" came his stern firm voice.

Liam was taken away and everyone could hear Ryan's deep shaky sigh in the silence that followed Liam's leave.


	4. Chapter 4

First of all, for everyone who celebrated Thanksgiving, I hope you had a good holiday!

Second of all, I want to thanks everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed this story…. You guys are making me happy!

I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, English isn't my native language.

I would love to hear what you think

Of course I don't own any of the characters of Castle.

* * *

><p>The evening was tense at Esposito's apartment, when Kevin and Javier found themselves, for the first time after the incident with Liam, alone. Kevin was in the kitchen trying to make something for them to eat, while Javier went around the apartment making sure all the windows were locked.<p>

When he came back Kevin just finished making eggs and bacon for them, while taking toasts out of the toaster. He fixed each of them a plate and put it down on the kitchen table "I know it's more breakfast than dinner, but… it's all I found…" he said apologetically.

"It's OK" Javier answered quietly and they both sat down to eat in silence.

When they were done eating Javier took the plates to the sink while Kevin made his way to the couch. He sat down, but didn't turn the TV on. Javier came and sat on the other side of the couch and Kevin couldn't help but cringe at the distance Javier put between them.

"Javi" he started to say, but Javier raised his hand stopping him.

"I meant the kiss Kevin" he looked at him directly and Kevin wanted nothing more than to look away, but couldn't avert his gaze from Javier's brown honest eyes. "It's been building for a while now and I don't know how you feel or what you're thinking… but I meant that" he looked openly at Kevin, waiting for his reply.

"Javi… I…" Kevin started, but didn't know how to continue. He looked down at the floor, tried to take a couple of deep breaths and closed his eyes, trying to sort through his thoughts. "I wasn't imagining those few months, was I?" he looked up at Javier.

Javier could only shake his head 'no'. He didn't trust his voice at the moment. He had no idea what Kevin was thinking and that scared him. He usually could tell what his partner was feeling or thinking, but right now, it was a totally unfamiliar ground and he didn't know if he should say something or just wait for Kevin.

"Look Javi" Kevin started turning to face his Hispanic partner "I meant that too, but I… with everything that's going on right now, I don't know if I can get myself emotionally invested in something like that right now" he said quietly and Javier was sure he heard sadness in his voice.

"Kev, I don't want to lose you" Javier said and grabbed Kevin's hand "If you don't want that, if you're not ready, I'm still going to be your friend. Your friendship means everything to me" Javier finished softly, squeezing Kevin's hand.

Kevin didn't look away from his partner. He needed to make him understand "That's not..." he started "I'm just saying… let's take that slow OK? I don't know what I'll do if I'll lose you Javi" he could feel his eyes starting to water. It's been a while since he felt so safe and comfortable with a person that wasn't one of his sisters. The fact that Javier knew the truth about him, even if not the whole truth, but the important stuff where out there, and the fact that he was still there and wanted to even deepen their relationship overwhelmed him.

"Hey, Kev, it's OK" Javier moved closer and wrapped both his arms around his younger partner "Whatever you need, we'll do, OK? And I'm not going anywhere".

He could feel Kevin's nod against his chest. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Kevin raised his head and looked deeply into Javier's eyes. He could feel himself leaning in, saw Javier doing the same and within seconds could feel Javier's lips on his. His hands moved automatically to grab Javier's shoulder and neck. Javier moved his hand to rest it on Kevin's chest and used the other one to balance himself, while putting it on the back of the couch. Javier's body heat was sending shivers down Kevin's spine and his tongue was granted access to his mouth. He grabbed Javier by the shoulders and pulled him closer. Javier moved himself to Kevin, helping the younger man to lie down on the couch. They made their best attempt at not breaking the kiss and somehow managed to do that while finding themselves lying on top of each other.

They kept on kissing for a few more minutes. Hands wondering everywhere they could reach, they both could feel the excitement of the other. They were out of breath, but neither wanted to stop. Javier moved his right hand under Kevin's shirt, wanting to feel his skin under his fingers "Kevin" he whispered. Kevin held his breath, while Javier's hand wondered south, His own hand moving under Javier's shirt, feeling the muscles in his back "Kevin", Javier whispered again.

Suddenly he felt Javier pulling away. The look of confusion and hurt that was shining through his blue eyes made Javier's heart ache "We said _slow_" he smiled down at his pouting partner.

Kevin nodded his head, both of them trying to calm their breathing "look, it's late, we had a long day and tomorrow will probably won't be any easier, why not just go to bed" Javier said softly, not able to look anywhere else but at Kevin's blue eyes.

The mischievous look that appeared on Kevin's face made Javier chuckle "To actually sleep, not to have sex" he said slowly and there was that pout again. Javier kissed his partner slowly, not letting it get anywhere else than a simple kiss to reassure both of them of the events that happened that night. He got up and reached out his hand to help Kevin to his feet. They made their way to the bed in Javier's bedroom, leaving the guestroom unattended for the night.

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><p>They stopped at their favorite coffee shop on their way to the precinct the next morning. Things were comfortable after last night. Although nothing more than kisses happened, somehow Kevin felt closer to Javier, if that was even possible. They decided that they won't make a big deal out of it. If someone will ask them, they won't deny it, but they aren't going to tell everyone straight away.<p>

They decided to make their way to work by foot, it was a nice morning and since they got up a bit early they had the time. Their conversation was light and when Kevin laughed at something Javier was saying, Javier couldn't imagine a better sound than that. They used a short cut they found a few months back and when Javier noticed they were all alone and not visible from the street he grabbed Kevin and pushed him against the wall. Kevin's look was priceless, the shock and passion in his eyes, just turned Javier even more on. He grabbed Kevin's face with both hands and kissed him. Kevin's hands found their way to Javier's waist and he pulled him closer.

"Javi" Kevin said, out of breath.

Javier moved to kiss his neck, his hands wondering down his chest and stomach.

"Javi, we'll be late" Kevin tried again, this time instead of pulling Javier closer he tried to push him away slightly.

"I know, I know" Javier said resting his forehead on Kevin's and resting his hands on his hips.

"Tonight bro, I promise" Kevin whispered, before Javier moved away from him and they resumed their walk.

Just when they were about to exit the alley there was a shuffle behind them and an all too familiar voice to Kevin's ears "Well well, I thought Liam was messing with me". Yes, that was definitely Bobby S's voice.

Kevin and Javier turned around and found out they were facing not just Bobby, but also Liam, Kean and 3 more guys Kevin didn't recognize.

"Hey Bobby" Kevin answered, trying to sound as calm as possible, but Javier could hear the slight tremble in his voice and the panic he was trying to hide. He took a step to the left, getting closer to his partner.

The three guys Kevin didn't recognize pulled out their guns and aimed it towards the two detectives. When Javier went to reach for his own piece it was Bobby's voice that stopped him "I wouldn't do it if I were you" his voice was calm and he kept looking straight at Kevin.

"What do you want Bobby?" Kevin asked, not breaking eye contact.

"That's a good question Fenton, I think my answer depends on what it is _you_ want".

Kevin shrugged his shoulders, not bothering correcting him "I don't want anything from you Bobby".

Liam and Kean's laughter made Esposito's stomach turn. They both took a couple of steps forwards, the 3 other guys right behind them.

"Look Bobby" Kevin tried to keep things from escalating "I don't want anything from any of you, I'm just doing my job"

"Your father would have been so proud" Bobby's voice was filled with venom and sarcasm "It wasn't enough that you ran, but you became a cop? Just for that Fenton you deserve what's been long time coming" he finished and with a slight nod of his head the other five men in the alley were suddenly all around Kevin and Javier.

Liam lunged himself at Kevin, but he managed to bend over and lend a punch to the bigger man stomach. One of the guys he didn't know grabbed him in the waist and tackled him to the pavement. He could feel his head connecting with the floor and things around him became blurry. He blinked a few times, trying to get things in to focus, but just as he was about to get up, a kick in the chest knocked the air out of him. He found himself on his hands and knees, grabbing his chest. Another kick to his stomach made him lose balance. When the third kick came he was ready and grabbed Liam's leg with both hands and tried to pull as hard as he could, making him lose balance, but the kick to the head that came from behind made him made his lose the hold and he could feel blood trickling on his face. This time the dizziness got worse. He tried to listen to the people around him, tried to figure out Javi's voice out of all the voices above him, but it was getting harder. He felt himself being grabbed by the shirt, felt himself being pulled up, but as soon as that happened, he could feel his head being connected again with the pavement. This time there was no voices around him and no dizziness just darkness. The last thought that went through his head was that maybe Javi managed to do some more damage to Bobby's men.

Javier knew that if he just as much as try to look towards Kevin, he was doomed. He kept his focus, he knew Kevin could take care of himself and the best thing he could do right now was face his 3 attackers. He decided to not wait for them and threw the first punch. It connected with the guy's nose that stood to his left, which gave Kean an opportunity to hit him on the head with the butt of his gun. Javier felt himself falling to his knees. It made him dizzy and unfocused and before he could do anything else a kick to his face sent him crumbling to the floor, blood flowing from his nose and darkness surrounding him.


	5. Chapter 5

Here is the next chapter….

I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, English isn't my native language.

I would love to hear what you think :)

Of course I don't own any of the characters of Castle.

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><p>When Javier woke up his entire face hurt. There was dry blood on his nose and chin and his head hurt. He tried to move a bit and felt his movements were limited. He could feel his leg being tied, but it was hard to see anything through the light darkness in the room. He sat up slowly, as much as his aching body and ties allowed him to. He tried to look around the room, trying to figure out what was around him. He spotted a small window above him and a door in front of him. But what really caught his attention was the other person in the room.<p>

There was no doubt in his mind, that the person lying on the floor on the other side of the room was his partner. Ryan was on his right side, with his back to Esposito. Espo couldn't really tell his younger partner's condition.

"Ryan" he tried to call and found his voice hoarse from lack of use and water. He cleared his throat and tried again "Ryan, bro, can you hear me?"

Esposito tried to move a little bit away from the wall and towards his partner as much as he could "Kev I need you to wake up. Come on bro, wake up".

He sighed in relief when he heard Ryan moaning and turning to lie on his back. He turned his head to his left side, trying to look at Esposito "Javi?" his voice was weak and small and Javier didn't know if he should be happy about hearing his voice or worried about the weakness in it.

"Yeah bro, I'm right here" Javier's soft voice carried through the empty room and reached Kevin's ears.

Kevin tried to take a deep breath, but instead only managed to cough. Javier wanted nothing more than to get to Kevin, but there was no way to get his bindings off.

"Kev, are you tied up too?" Javier asked.

Kevin tried to move again and the sound of the chain made the answer clear for both of them.

"What hurts Kevin?" Javier asked again. He just wanted to keep him awake. The dry blood on Kevin's right side of the head made him nervous. It was obvious he took a few blows to the head.

Kevin chuckled softly "Everything".

Javier's answer died on his lips, when the door to the room opened suddenly. Bobby came in, with Liam right behind him. Liam went straight towards Kevin and picked him up by the collar of his shirt. Bobby stood in the doorway, having a good view of both of the detectives. Javier sat up straighter and looked at Kevin. Kevin was barley awake and all he could manage was a small moan of pain when he was picked up roughly and shoved with his back to the wall.

"You know Fenton, I've been thinking about this day ever since you ran all those years ago. I tried to think what will I do the next time I'll see you and I must say" he walked further into the room and closer to Javier "I could never choose just one scenario" he crunched down next to Javier and pulled at his short hair, pulling his head back.

Javier hissed in pain but didn't break eye contact with Bobby "The best thing is, that now I've got another leverage on you, other than you being tied up and incapable of doing much really" he continued while pushing Javier's head back, getting back up and walking towards Kevin.

Liam held Kevin with his forearm to his throat and a knife leaning very close to his stomach. When Bobby got closer, Liam pushed Kevin, making him look up in displeasure. Bobby stood right behind Liam looking straight at Kevin "I've got your partner right here to either play with or make him watch"

Kevin turned his head towards Javier, trying to focus on him, but having a hard time doing so. Javier didn't avert his eyes from the scene in front of him.

"You know me Fenton, I'm not really the kind of guy to play games, I'm usually more direct than that, but… I don't know there is something about you and this whole situation that makes me reconsider my methods" Bobby said and Kevin could feel the hate radiating from him, and his breath together with Liam proximity was making him even more dizzy than he already was.

But he couldn't take it any longer, he had to stand up for himself no matter how bad he was feeling "It's Kevin not Fenton" seemed like the best thing to say.

Bobby and Liam looked at him puzzled. It took both of them a minute to comprehend what was being said to them.

"So you didn't just ran" Bobby started and Liam's smile just grew "But you also changed your name you coward" Bobby finished and Liam let go, making Kevin fall to the floor on his hands and knees. Liam's boot collided with his chest, making him fall completely, another kick, this time to his stomach, made him turn on his back and clutching his front side in pain. Kevin thought he heard Javier's shackles, but his heavy breathing was making it hard to hear anything but his own breathing and heartbeats. But he didn't miss Liam's laugh and the door closing a few seconds later.

They haven't seen either Bobby or Liam the rest of the day. They were left alone for hours in the darkness. Kevin's breathing evened out long time ago and Javier went back to his own mission, keeping him awake.

"Kev?" Javier said trying to keep his voice strong, but at the same time soft.

Kevin's only response was turning his head towards Javier. He was still lying on his back, while Javier was still sitting on the other side of the room. Every now and then Javier tried to pull at his bindings, checking his boundaries.

"They'll find us. I mean it is Becket and Castle, they can't _not_ find us" Javier continued, a small smile on his face.

Kevin returned the smile and added a small "Yeah".

"So… what exactly did you do for your father?" Javier asked. He was a little apprehensive about the answer he might get. He wasn't completely sure he wanted to know what Kevin did, but at the same time he knew he needed to.

Kevin managed to turn slowly on his left side, so it would be easier to look at Javier. "Are you sure you want me to answer that?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as steady and as strong as he could. The fact that he managed a whole sentence without having to take a deep breath in the middle of it gave him some hope.

Javier nodded and answered confidently "Yes".

This time Kevin did take a deep breath preparing both himself and Javier for his answer "At the beginning mostly just passing massages between different people. I was pretty good at math, so he let me go through his books".

He stopped for a minute organizing his thoughts and giving himself time to breath calmly "When I grew up he taught me how to shoot a gun, he started taking me with him whenever there was a deal being made". Kevin stopped and looked at Javier. He wondered when Javier will ask him to stop, at which point will it get too far for him. But Javier only kept on looking at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I started moving packages for him around. Mainly drugs, sometimes weapons. Sometimes he sent me to people who didn't pay or were late with their payments to… persuade them to pay".

Javier took a deep breath "have you ever… killed someone for him?" he wanted to be able to see Kevin's face clear, to be able to see his eyes, what they were saying to him.

Kevin didn't turn away and answered quietly "no, but I was pretty close to do it more than once"

"What do you mean?" Javier asked.

"I tortured a couple of people to the point where they got to the emergency room in critical condition. I was asked a few times to shoot some people, but… I just… it was when I got a bit older and started to question a lot of things and I just… I shot them, just nothing fatal, you know? A shot to the leg, to the arm, to the stomach when I knew someone will get to them soon" Kevin chuckled softly and Javier looked at him quizzically "I don't think I would have been a very good mobster".

Javier couldn't help but to smile at that. Both on the fact that Kevin knew, despite everything, even back then, that he couldn't be that person and on the fact that if Kevin still managed to laugh at this point, he didn't lose him yet.

After that the conversation died down. Each person was left with their own thoughts. Javier would say his name every once in a while, making sure he was still there with him. But other than that the only noise in the room, was Kevin's heavy breathing.

The next time Bobby and Liam came back, Kean was there with them. Liam went straight to Ryan, like there was something pulling him there the second he put his foot in the room. Kean made his way slowly towards Esposito, just standing there, infront of him. Bobby kept his distance and looked at the two partners.

"I think I gave you two enough bonding time" Bobby said with a cruel smile "now it's our bonding time. We need to get to know each other again" he took a couple of steps towards Ryan and Liam, when the latter picked the detective up again the same way he did the first time.

Bobby looked back at Kean and without warning Kean kicked Esposito in the head, making him fall to his side clutching his head. Ryan tried to struggle with Liam, but was too weak to do anything against the bigger man.

"Bobby, leave my partner alone" he said trying to sound as confidence and as strong as he could.

"I was trying to think what would hurt you more, seeing your partner hurt or you being physically hurt yourself" he said and kept moving towards Ryan "Than I remembered your sisters and how you could never stay away when someone was harassing them or trying to hurt them". Ryan was trying to take a deep breath, to hold himself from showing Bobby how angry he was making him. "But you were always the little brother, too small and weak to actually do any damage".

As soon as Bobby was done talking he felt Liam's fist connecting with his stomach. He reached with both hands to hold Liam's shoulders to try and keep himself upwards, but the kick that reached his chest, when Liam pushed him down took his breath away and he was left coughing on his hands and knees. He thought he heard Esposito moaned in pain when Kean's boot collided with his stomach and chest over and over.

Ryan tried to get a word out, he wanted to ask Bobby what he wanted, but before he could manage to form any words, Liam's boot came crushing down on his back, making him fall on his stomach, the last thing he felt before hearing footsteps and the door being opened and closed was another kick to the head.

Kevin wasn't sure how long they were there. At some point he gave up trying to figure it out and concentrated on staying awake as much as possible and keeping his breathing as calm as possible. The beatings were happening every few hours, or at least that was how it felt. It was usually Liam's boots that collided with pretty much every part of his body. His head didn't stop hurting since that alley, who knows how long ago. He was pretty sure a few of his ribs were broken, because every time he tried to move he felt like he couldn't breathe. And everything else just ached constantly.

He wasn't sure how much longer he'll be able to hold on. He ran out of smartass remarks for Liam and Bobby and mostly he just wanted to sleep peacefully for a while. But Javier's voice kept bringing him back. His soft, smooth, strong voice that managed to somehow pierce through his groggy brain.


End file.
